Fine.
What did you do at school today?
Nothing.
All parents have had these conversations. Apparently students all over the world are doing nothing at school, but not to worry, it is fine. It is the challenge of asking questions that specific, but are still open-ended so to avoid one word answers. We all easily fall into the trap, with our kids, our co-workers and our friends of asking “how are you doing?” and knowing the only really acceptable answer is “fine”.
In our home we are continually trying to make a conscious effort for some different conversation starters.
There are a couple of lists that I have found and used that I think are useful (I don’t love all the questions – but they get your mind working about different ways to have the after school, or dinner conversation). Maxabella Loves shared these 10 kid conversation starters on her blog:
1. What was the funniest thing you heard all day?
2. What was your favourite thing that happened today?
3. Did your teacher get cross today? What happened?
4. What subject was the most interesting today?
5. Was anyone away today? Did that make the day different?
6. What was something new you read today?
7. What happened today that you wish hadn’t happened?
8. What did you enjoy most for lunch today?
9. What are you learning about in science?
10. Did anyone do something nice for you today? Did you do something nice back?
Last fall I also saw this list that Liz Evans posted on Huffington Post:
- What was the best thing that happened at school today? (What was the worst thing that happened at school today?)
- Tell me something that made you laugh today.
- If you could choose, who would you like to sit by in class? (Who would you NOT want to sit by in class? Why?)
- Where is the coolest place at the school?
- Tell me a weird word that you heard today. (Or something weird that someone said.)
- If I called your teacher tonight, what would she tell me about you?
- How did you help somebody today?
- How did somebody help you today?
- Tell me one thing that you learned today.
- When were you the happiest today?
- When were you bored today?
- If an alien spaceship came to your class and beamed someone up, who would you want them to take?
- Who would you like to play with at recess that you’ve never played with before?
- Tell me something good that happened today.
- What word did your teacher say most today?
- What do you think you should do/learn more of at school?
- What do you think you should do/learn less of at school?
- Who in your class do you think you could be nicer to?
- Where do you play the most at recess?
- Who is the funniest person in your class? Why is he/she so funny?
- What was your favorite part of lunch?
- If you got to be the teacher tomorrow, what would you do?
- Is there anyone in your class who needs a time-out?
- f you could switch seats with anyone in the class, who would you trade with? Why?
- Tell me about three different times you used your pencil today at school.
In our house right now there are two questions that we talk about most often around the dinner table, or the breakfast table, or the car driving to practice, or whenever we have those moments to get caught up with each others’ lives (we borrowed them from a radio talk show):
Tell me something I don’t know?
What have we learned today?
We like both of these questions as we all answer them – kids and adults – and they are great with extended family or friends over.
It is always a challenge to try to stay engaged with our kids. As we often say about teaching, asking the right questions is so important, and actually very difficult. It is an ongoing struggle to not live in a world of “fine”, “good” and “nothing.”
Yes, it is a challenge to find out what’s gone on in the day of your child. Diane Sawyer posted this one after interviewing and physicist who prompted his child’s day, “Did you ask any great questions today?” or “What great questions did you ask today?” … I thought that this was extremely applicable in our world or wonder & curiosity. Thought that as a parent I could ask my kid this question and support how our school culture is moving towards tapping into our students’ curiosities … Hmmmm.
Very nice Selina – I like the idea of modeling the work around wonder, curiosity and inquiry with our family efforts.
Did you ask any good questions today?
I’ve learned, unfortunately not until I became a grandparent, that it’s the question, any question that can be a silencer. Offering a statement turns out to be a great way to get into a conversation with kids. Here are some of openers – “I wonder if kids make best friends at school.” “My first teacher liked me because I was good; my brother misbehaved.” “I wonder what the guinea pigs do after school.” “The most interesting thing that I did today.”
OK Penny – this challenges my thinking. I do like the idea of “Wonder” statements – reflecting on what we are trying to do with inquiry in the classroom.
I will try some wonder statements with my kids.
Dinner time often leads to two stars & a wish (trying to push descriptive feedback at home as well as at school) with ‘good questions’ to find out more (not yes/no Qs)
Nice Ian . . . . so true that some of the best parenting strategies are great classroom strategies and vice versa.
Reblogged this on technolandy: site of Ian Landy and commented:
Great sample of how to dig deeper – love this as they connect to our journey using eportfolios instead of report cards – focus on learning over just completing tasks to get a %.
It will be interesting to see if the quality of regular conversations do truly improve as students move to more ongoing assessments that are shared with families through eportfolios and other new reporting tools.
My one an only goal as a parent at dinner time, is to make my kids laugh so hard that milk comes out there nose. What they did at school on any given day is secondary to the laugh.
I am impressed if you are still able to do it as your kids get older. What I thought was my best material and would get the milk going when my kids were in primary grades only gets eye rolls now as they enter the teenage years.
Reblogged this on mswalliswhiteboard.
By the way, this is the best ‘homework’ there is. It results in a child thinking back through the day trying to determine what information to provide as an answer AND it gets the parents involved in the child’s day.
Yes, absolutely. I have seen first hand how some teachers can brilliantly include “homework” that involves students engaging with their parents about their learning – wonderful reflection opportunities and home school connections.
What amazes me is how early this starts – my four year old has the same response when I ask him what he’s done in preschool. I go to great lengths to get some better answers! These questions are great – I’m eager to try them out.
Giving teachers easier ways to share what is going on in the classroom is also helpful. When I get an update on the day’s projects, then at least I know where to start the conversation. As digital portfolios, classroom blogs and other such things get more widely used, I think it’s going to make a big difference.
That is a great point Tricia about how as technology opens up the classroom, and families can see and hear firsthand what is happening, it is far easier to open up conversations. With my kids when I knew what they were learning on a particular day or in a particular week it was far easier to start the dialogue. Classroom blogs, digital portfolios etc. are such great ways to strengthen the home / school connections.
Found a fun post this morning about the Key Jar. Great conversation starters. I found this quote meaningful…
“There are a billion little rooms inside each of your children that remain locked up, unexplored, and a good question can lead you right inside?”
Here’s the link… http://momastery.com/blog/2015/04/24/key-jar/
Very nice, thanks for sharing!
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